Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is really letting players unlock their creative side – especially when it comes to tormenting poor Koroks.
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom has, as advertised, given players the tools to make weird and wonderful things and generally get up to fantastical mischief.
What Tears of the Kingdom‘s creators may not have foreseen, though, is just how much glee players would take in tormenting the game’s poor, innocent Koroks.
“Do you think the TOTK devs foresaw players crucifying Koroks,” Twitter’s SuperButterBuns asked in the early hours of the morning, “or were the QA testers not as bloodthirsty as the average Nintendo player?”
Said Twitter post was illustrated by a frankly alarming image of a Korok secured to a wooden cruciform. Turns out you really can do just about anything with Tears of the Kingdom‘s Ultra Hand ability and its patented magic glue.
Do you think the TOTK devs foresaw players crucifying koroks or were the QA testers not as blood thirsty as the average nintendo player pic.twitter.com/BuJp2jeBQP
— Buns (@SuperButterBuns) May 15, 2023
SuperButterBuns’ tweet then unlocked an entire conversation about doing cruel things to Zelda’s tiny wood people, with one video showing Koroks variously blasted into the sky with rockets, toasted with flames like a shish kebab, blown up, and so forth:
Korok Abuse Simulator
Footage from @Oyffie and others pic.twitter.com/J3CQE8OkCh
— Goobomber (@Goobomber) May 14, 2023
“Korok torment was always on the cards,” went one response, “but I don’t think anyone had ‘crucifixion’ on their bingo cards.”
Another suggested that TOTK actually stands for Tears of the Koroks.
The general consensus, though, is that players with long memories are simply getting their revenge for the fact that collecting 900 Korok seeds in Breath of the Wild yielded the gift of (spoiler alert) a spiral of golden poo.
Called Hestu’s Gift, the item carried the following description: “A gift of friendship given to you by Hestu. It smells pretty bad.”
Yeah, maybe those irksome Koroks had it coming, after all.
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom has only been officially available for three days at the time of writing, but we’ve already seen players make all kinds of imaginative, bewildering things, from armoured tanks to priapic statues that shoot flames and then explode. It’s quite a time to be a Zelda fan.
Read more: Tears of the Kingdom focuses on its predecessor’s strongest aspect – creativity